Baldur’s Gate 3’s Astarion Romance Is Difficult But Ultimately Rewarding

Baldur’s Gate 3 has been an incredible video game experience for me. It pushed my paladin character to explore new facets and embrace the validity of anger as an emotion. The romances in the game have been fulfilling, but romancing Astarion stands out.

Astarion’s introduction involved a dagger to my character’s throat, driven by a misunderstanding. We quickly learned the truth through our telekinetic tadpole connection. His bad-boy image became evident from the start, but it was during our journey with the group that I realized just how different he was from my paladin character. As the righteous paladin of the party, my goal was to be the most heroic hero that ever “heroed” in the fair lands. I even wore a cape to emphasize my heroism for a large portion of the whole adventure. If there were people in need of saving, you bet I was on it! I slaughtered a hag, righted the wrongs of a dark druid cult, and helped every single NPC who asked for it.

Astarion hated me for this, and I couldn’t stand him for it.

Change Of Plans

My initial aim was to romance Gale, as he appreciated my helpful deeds and had witty banter, reminiscent of Alistair from Dragon Age Origins. I envisioned a perfect match: the playful mage and the occasionally snarky paladin, starting off light-hearted and gradually getting serious in their story.

For me, it elevated Baldur’s Gate 3 from a great game into an exceptional one, and most definitely one of my favorites of all time.

However, Astarion disrupted my plans. I attempted to play without a rogue in my party but soon realized their necessity for immersion and essential lockpicking and disarming skills. I reluctantly turned Karlach into a rogue, but it felt wrong for her character. So, I brought Astarion back into my party and embraced the dynamic of “we can’t stand each other, but let’s work together.”

As the journey progressed, Astarion began sharing his troubled past, marked by abuse and a fear of losing his newfound independence. Embracing the tadpole power allowed him to walk in daylight and break free from his abuser, Cazador, granting him newfound independence after centuries. This marked a significant turning point.

Like other Astarion fans, I was captivated by his complex personality. In camp, his vulnerability came to the surface, and my supportive responses to his past endeared me to him. Helping him progress in his story changed how he saw me.

I couldn’t stop talking about my newfound fascination with this intricate vampire character. There’s even a meme online that jokingly connects Astarion to Twilight fans who still hold onto their vampire obsession. In my case, it’s surprisingly accurate. I was a long-time fan of the books and spent almost a decade reading paranormal romance novels because of it. The narratives share some common elements, such as a troubled supernatural being teetering on the edge of losing their humanity, pushing a righteous human to their emotional limits, and ultimately finding redemption through love. It’s a guilty pleasure I can’t resist. In other words, I fell down the “I can fix him” rabbit hole.

Gale’s conversations quickly went from being more flirty to bitingly casual. The rest of our group started to note that something was going on between me and Astarion. I decided to embrace it. Eventually he took me into the woods, and we had a romantic romp there. When I say I was fangirling, I mean it—the whole squeeing, bouncing while seated on my couch, clenched fists—it was all there, and even writing this brings back a whiff of that excitement. For me, it elevated Baldur’s Gate 3 from a great game into an exceptional one, and most definitely one of my favorites of all time.

Building On The Romance

From there, I had asked him how he felt about me, and he was dodgy at first, not being used to a person falling in love with him and understanding the idea of a commitment. He did warm up to it however and it was official.

I knew things would come to a head when I finally confronted Cazador in his mansion. My heart raced as I explored the maze-like setting, immersing myself with a personalized Apple Music playlist. The battle with Cazador became easier due to my Sunlight spell, and my intense determination to win Astarion’s affection kept me hyper focused as I utilized my group’s full arsenal, including Halsin and Shadowheart.

Up to this point, I had been guiding my character in a romantic pursuit of Astarion. However, my attempts to win his affection had been met with challenges. There were moments when I had to reload the game because my choices, intended to impress him, ended up displeasing him or even breaking my oath. The love test at the circus was a notable example. Initially, my honesty angered him, and in a subsequent reload, I attempted humor by suggesting his fear of being stabbed. This backfired as he abruptly exited the scene, leaving my character feeling alone and rejected. I bring this up because his pull on me was intense and almost took us both to the dark side.

The Things We Do For Love

After defeating Cazador, he cooed at my character to please help him perform the ceremony which would make him ascend and would give him a chance to surpass Cazador in power. Here I was, this righteous paladin, heroic and saving people left and right, but with the right words, he influenced me to help him gain power. The screen turned red, he began to power up, and afterward, the tone in his voice changed, and he started to take on a far more sinister feel. I fed his ego, even though something felt off.

Afterward, I got a deep ache in my chest, indicating that I had broken my oath. “Screw it,” I said, and I became an oathbreaker.

The feeling that something was off wouldn’t leave, and I decided to go back and make the other decision and see where it led. Turned out I was right, at least for this playthrough, to not let him turn. The Astarion I fell in love with was there and was empowered in my more internal way. He had defeated his abuser, and with Cazador’s demise, broke the cycle of abuse. The psychological implications of that are insurmountable. As a person who suffers from PTSD, I understand the power behind breaking a cycle like that.

After the fight, Astarion and I visited his grave, symbolizing his farewell to his old self and the embrace of a more emotionally expressive version himself. Kissing him in a graveyard wasn’t my ideal romantic moment, but it was significant. It was the first time he spoke openly without his usual snark, making me realize that all the previous reloads and frustrating moments were worthwhile.